Always with me, now with you

-
Why are you staring at the keyboard?
I want to type something but can’t figure out what to type.
Sounds like you are confused
Yes, I am confused.
Why do you think you are confused?
There are too many things happening at the same time, that is why, I guess.
Are you guessing or are you sure about it?
No, I am not sure about it.
Then what are you sure about?
I am sure that I want to write something.
What is it that you want to write?
I don’t know. A story? May be
May be? You are still confused
Fine, I will write a story.
What kind of story?
I don’t know
Are you this unsure all the time?
Yes, I am.
Finally, something that you are sure of!
Stop. Get out of my mind and let me type.
Whatever!!

Is he gone? I begin to wonder as I begin to type. The sound of the keyboard slowly started to occupy the room. The silence started to creep in as I started to delve in my story. A hot summer afternoon in Imphal can be sweltering at times making you sweat even while you are just sitting and reading a book. However, in this sweltering heat, a gentle breeze is all you need to cool down so that you could concentrate.
Oh Damn, I can’t concentrate, it is too hot. I need to take a bath.
What? You already gave up?
Oh, there you are, back again to remind me of my inability to write, questioning me all the time. Bugger
I will always question you, my dear. I am you
How can you be me? You are so not me. You always remind me of the man people want me to be, the quintessential “perfect” man.
Oh, do I?
Oh yes, you do. You are always telling me to think before doing anything. You are always there to question my confidence when I want to do anything. You are always there to stop me from almost everything that I want to do.
But you have always done what you wanted to do. You never listened to me.
That is the point, why should I listen to you? Why are you here?
I can’t leave you, buddy. I am just inseparable from you. I will be there wherever you are.
Oh, bugger off, leave me alone.

Oh hello, why are you talking to yourself? What happened? Deepak Asked as he closed the door.
Oh no, I wasn’t. It was just. Forget it. How are you? What’s up? Have a seat. I said as I opened the fridge door.
“Nothing much, just came by to see how you are doing, I mean, last night was a sad scene. You should not have hit him, man. I mean, he is your friend.” Deepak started to rumble while I poured a glass of water.
See? Now he is here to tell you how you should behave in public.
Go away!
“What do you mean I should not have hit him? He is not my friend. I just know him. What was I supposed to do when I was provoked so much? I will hit if he does it again.” I said as I sat down the sofa. “Oh, you want anything to drink?” I continued.
What are you answering? Think before you answer
“No man, I am cool, I just had lunch, late lunch. But anyway, let’s not argue about yesterday any further. People must be scared of you by now. The way you hit him, we thought he is going to die man” Deepak said as he took out a pack of cigarette from his pocket.
Good if he was dead. That’s not a good thought. You should forgive and forget. Oh shut up
“I don’t see any reason for people to be afraid of me. I reacted to the provocation and besides any man would react if his wife is getting teased. So what if he was her ex-boyfriend. He should have sat there quietly.” I said as I took a sip of water. “Who invited him to the party, by the way?”
Rajesh. Deepak replied.
That asshole.
“But why? He is not even amongst our friend circle” I asked.
“He is Rajesh’s brother in law” Deepak replied.
“What? He is married to Reshma?” I quipped. I didn’t know this.
“How would you? You have been away for a long time dude?” Deepak replied.
See? This is what you lose when you are out of your home for a long time. Urrghhh
“So, what’s your plan for the evening? Where is your wife?” Deepak asked
“I have no plans. She is upstairs taking a nap”
“OK, I got to go now, I just came to see how you are doing, don’t take this forward and make a scene out of it again. Ok?” he said as he opened the door.
Ok man. Bye.
See? How people see you? React to your reaction? Judge you? What are you going to do? What are you say to your wife? What is she going to think about you? How are you going to face her?
Hmmmm, I don’t have to face her at all. Never.
Why?
Because she is with you.





Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Infosys Times

-
Muhen, we are looking at you leaving for Mysore on the 25th of April. That’s what my manager told me on the 23rd. traveling is a part of my job, so Mysore it is then. No complaints, just pack your bags and leave. Finish the work and come back, that’s the way it is. For how long is the assignment? Hmmm a good question with no definite answer. Who is the client? Infosys; Great!What do I do then? Nothing; just go there, spend some time, get the work done, come back and repeat the grind again. Sounds easy right?The KSRTC bus was supposed to leave Bangalore at 4:30 in the morning. It left at 5:30 instead. Perfect Indian timing, isn’t it? Anyways, the bus ride was smooth. Thanks to the good roads. 8 A.M., Mysore.Well, everyone seems to know Infosys out here. What I was told was that, when I get down at the bus stand, just ask any auto drivers and he will surely take me to infosys, you don’t have to tell him where it is. Damn, nice. So, how much is the charge from the bus stand to Infosys? 12
Read more

And he never went back home

-
And he never went back home “She has eloped with someone else man, I just dont know what to do” said Susheel as he took a long drag off his cigarette. “What?” everyone said in unison, but with whom? Did you try to find out? A series of questions followed. Na, I did not try and I dont want to know with whom she eloped to get married, Susheel continued, still taking long drags off the cigarette. There was calm in his voice and he seemed not moved with what just happened with him. This morning, his girlfriend eloped with another guy to get married. Susheel was a very decent man with a decent job. Yes, working at a shop is considered a job in the state of Manipur. At least you have an income. His shop owner was a Marwari from the state of Rajasthan who had come to Manipur some 20 years ago and is since settled here. His employer trusted him so much that he asked him to stay in the shop, where he provided Susheel with two times meal and a bed. That was more than what Susheel needed. Every d
Read more

The Bengaluru to Imphal Drive (part 1)

-
Image
The Bengaluru to Imphal Drive 25 th  July 2015 to 2 nd  Aug 2015 It was December 2000, when I first reached Bengaluru. I had just graduated from my PG Diploma course. Things were new and things looked pretty exciting. My brother and I moved into a house in Lingarajpuram and that is where it all started; our Bengaluru sojourn. Cut to 2016, and this city had given us both the freedom and all the moments that one could ever ask for. From bad to good to worst, it was all there. I got into a world where I thought I could never be. Made some lifelong friends and collected almost a million years worth of memories. It was a life that had its own pros and cons. While it was good in socializing and having a great time, the warmth and love of a family was always missing. Here we were, two boys, completely cut off from the feeling called family. The family “connection” was only through phone. And it had taken its toll by the time I realized. I was way far disconnected from my parent
Read more